2010 Monster Month: Day 27 – 5 O’clock Shadow

I have a beard. Primarily I have a beard because I lack a fondness for shaving. Shaving is a painful inconvenience. Besides, there’s nothing wrong with a little facial fuzz. It sprouts there on it’s own, so who am I to hinder its existence.

Now, this fella, on the other hand, has issues with his stubble – it’s sharp. I suppose that is prone to be the case when your “stubble” is really yellow horns protruding from your chin. A standard razor can’t do the trick on this one. He probably needs a hedge trimmer to cut through those barbs. The only trouble is they grow back in overnight and the routine starts all over again the next morning. Actually, now that I think about it, you had better steer clear of his 5 o’clock shadow as well.

Blue Goat
Of course, after Hank shaves, he uses refreshing Aqua Velva even though it stings.

2010 Monster Month: Day 25 – Treevesdropper

Remember kids, it’s always safest to go into the woods with a buddy – preferably a buddy larger than yourself to increase your chances of him getting attacked first so you can get away…

Tree Creature
This can’t be good.

2010 Monster Month: Day 23 – The Arsonist

I grew up in Florham Park, New Jersey where the fire department was valiantly staffed by volunteers – not an uncommon phenomenon in the East Coast suburbs. To think that these guys were ready and willing to run from wherever they were to help a family in need in that way was and continues to be phenomenal. They are trustworthy heroes all.

THAT being said, I wouldn’t trust this particular “fireman” one bit…

The Fireman
Actually, it does seem to be a rather clever way to enjoy some BBQ, don’t you think?

2010 Monster Month: Day 22 – The Babysitter

Every couple with children really should schedule a date night from time to time. You know, an evening for just the two of you without the kids. The children tend to consume your every waking moment to the point that you need to be reminded of your love for each other.

Go back to a time in your minds when your young love was budding – no mortgage to worry about, no children, no responsibilities, and quite possibly no money. (If that last one is the case, zip forward just a scooch to when you don’t have to negotiate with the maitre d.) Sounds nice, doesn’t it?

It’s settled then! Go get yourselves a babysitter right away to take care of the little squirts so you can head out to a nice romantic restaurant for two. Just don’t call the service that these children’s parents hired…

Demon Beast with kids
What are these kids still doing up?! It’s waaaay past their bedtime.

2010 Monster Month: Day 19 – Coffee Break

The daily routine of a job can really wear on you. Hour after hour of doing the same task affects you mentally, and even physically. Every now and then you need a good coffee break to let your system reset for the next round of whatever monotonous routine you have been hired to do. Whether it be scaring children, hiding your car keys, or even making bumps in the night, monsters need these coffee breaks, too.

Coffee Break
Herb enjoys his coffee break before having to go back to beating someone senseless with his tail. Nice work if you can get it.

2010 Monster Month: Day 18 – Purple Ice Cream Eater

If you followed last year’s Monster Month, you might remember a morbid ink sketch of a monster enjoying some ice cream that was posted on this very day. I’m not sure why exactly, but the thought of one of these hairy beasts truly enjoying some frozen dairy delights just strikes me as funny, peculiar, and just a wee bit nostalgic. Ice cream is definitely tasty, so why wouldn’t creatures that go bump in the night decide to bump into some for themselves? Well, at least the ones that aren’t lactose intolerant I suppose.

Purple Ice Cream Eater
What do you bet she actually has four tongues ready to attack that stack?

2010 Monster Month: Day 17 – The Gatorpine

Yesterday you were able to see a sample of a whole page from my sketchbook on which I was brainstorming monster heads with the promise that today I’d show you one of those heads fleshed out, so to speak. That spikey headed fella in the lower left corner was the one that captured my imagination.

So, Mr, Spikey Head – who are you? What is your profession? You obviously look like you are a bit of a tough guy, and yet you look like you enjoy your work. You also look like you have an imposing presence, yet can enjoy some ribbing from the guys (although I personally sure wouldn’t want to be the one to snap a towel on him in the locker room). You probably have enjoyed more than your share of fresh gorluck stew or whatever exotic name you call your favorite meal. Maybe you are more military in nature – an infantry soldier or something. See, all these types of questions come to mind and just from that little head drawing.

Visually, that head reminded me of both an alligator and a porcupine. So, considering the other character building questions, the military minded Gatorpine is born….

Monster Soldier
Don’t worry kids – that’s really just a big squirt gun. Although, he fills it with acid, so I’d duck if he points it at you.

Let’s just hope he really doesn’t reside in the Everglades.

2010 Monster Month: Day 15 – Ladies’ Night

Ladies, it’s Friday night, the work week is done. Time to let off a little steam and have fun with your girlfriends, right? You get together and talk about whose boss is meaner, who ate who, how many kids you scared that week, how Larry in accounting sneezed and lit the files on fire – you know, all the usual stuff a monster would experience in the average week.

The original “sophisticated mama”.